Losing A Friend

July 10, 2017

 

 

I'm going to talk about friendships in this. We all have them, and we've a probably lost a couple in our lives. I hear about breakups all the time. In songs, on tv, in books. But you don't hear about friendship breakups as much, and sometimes they're just as hard(sometimes harder) to deal with. As you get older, growing apart from certain friends becomes a pretty normal thing. You go from seeing a person every day in high school, to seeing them on breaks in college, and then college ends and there aren't anymore summer or winter breaks. So staying friends gets harder. It's still possible, but you have to decide to make an effort to stay in touch. 

 

Sometimes you don't just grow apart though. Sometimes a friend can break your heart. I had a friend when I was younger, a best friend. Her family became my family, we went on vacations together, hung out constantly, all that good stuff. I could picture us being friends in the future, the kind that never grew apart. But then we got a little older, and she hurt me. She made new friends, ditched me, and made me feel this kind of sadness that I hadn't felt yet at that point in my life.

 

Looking back at all this, I obviously can look at it differently and realize it was hardly the end of the world. But at the time it felt like that. And though I can see now that it wasn't the end of the world, that doesn't mean that it didn't hurt. This person I'd known for so long just seemed to stop caring. We'd become such a big part of each other's lives, and it seemed as though overnight she just stopped thinking I was a person worth knowing. And it stung. A lot. We stopped being friends, and it wasn't what I wanted.

 

For years after that she became a sort of villain in the story that was my life. I was lucky enough to not have experienced any kind of heartbreak or complete devastation at that point in my life so when I looked back on the first time someone made me feel that, I thought of her. In my head, this girl became a terrible person. All those great times we had were gone, and all that was left was the hurt. She hurt me and I hated her for it. Any time I saw a picture of her with her new friends, a part of me wished they would treat her the way she treated me. That she'd put all her trust into them and they'd let her down. Because in my head she was a bad person that deserved that.

 

Except she wasn't. She was funny, compassionate, easy to talk to. She was a good person that made a mistake. Now that I'm no longer that hurt teenager, I realize that she isn't a villain. She was in my life for the time that she was and she taught me what a beautiful friendship could be. She also taught me to be a little bit more careful in trusting people completely. She taught me to appreciate the people that do stick around. She taught me that sometimes people let you down and it sucks. But it won't always hurt, and you'll often find there are much better things ahead.

 

And maybe I taught her to be more careful with people. Maybe she felt bad for hurting me and decided to never treat a person like that again. Maybe we were never meant to be in each other's lives forever. It's not easy, but sometimes you'll have to realize that a lot of times the people in your life aren't always going to be there forever. So it's  important to learn something from every person that touches your life, even if it's only for a moment. 

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